Dear Youth of America

This morning on the radio they were talking about the President addressing the school kids next week. The question of the morning was: If you were the President, what would you tell the youth of our nation?

Here's what I'd tell them:
Don't take what you see on tv seriously. There are loads of crappy shows on VH1 and MTV & MTV2 that make you think that all teens are fabulously rich and that it's ok to be a stuck up, snobby, high heal wearing, fancy car driving, cell phone texting brat. That's not the case. Your parents may have wanted you to buy into that idea but look where that got them. They ended up overstretching their budget and now they can't afford the huge house, the huge SUV and they're unemployed. The lesson to be learned, Youth, is to WORK HARD and SPEND WISELY.
Don't buy crap. When you want to buy something, do a little math. Say to yourself "How long did I have to flip hamburgers to get that much money and if I buy this, will it really be worth working 9 hours for?"

Also, your dreams will not come true. Sadly enough. Life just isn't full of unicorns and rainbows. So if you're going to waste $70,000.00 on a college education, choose a career that there is actually a job market for. Otherwise you'll just barge right into adulthood up to your armpits in debt and be no better off than the rest of us. So you might as well stay at McDonald's and just aspire to be manager.

Don't waste your time waiting for the mailbox money to come. It's nice to collect unemployment or disability but you'll never get anywhere on that kind of money. You need real money, the kind you work for. You'll get ahead much quicker that way. And not all jobs are easy. Some are very difficult. It doesn't matter. Try them anyhow. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty. The adults of the world will respect you a lot more if you are willing to do the hard jobs. There are enough people already sitting behind desks. They're the ones who helped get us in the mess this country is in. Too many chiefs and not enough indians.

Don't walk around being thugs. If you want respect in this world you have to earn it. It's not free. And slumming around with your pants around your ankles is not cool. It's annoying and if you come to me looking for a job like that, I wouldn't give you the time of day. Because people won't judge you based on your sparkling personality. So pull up your pants.

Girls: Don't get knocked up. It will ruin your life. He doesn't love you, he just wants a piece. He's not going to stick around and be a good baby daddy so don't waste your time. And don't waste your body. Do you really think someone who looks like that has good child rearing skills? No.
And I'm sick of paying your WIC and Welfare bill. So take it from me, stay away from the boys. Get a job, get a car, get an apartment, get your own life, then you can focus on raising a kid properly. Don't expect help from anyone. Be able to make it on your own before you think about dragging another life into this world. Be independant, be responsible.

And remember to brush your teeth & do your homework.

I Hate Running

I hate running. It never gets easier. You'd think after years of doing it, it would be a breeze, that I could just lace up, pop out the door and bounce down the street. Nay. It always is a miserable chore that I dread until the moment I arrive back in my driveway, out of breath & sweaty. It's only then that I feel fabulous about having done it. Sometimes just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.
I'm not athletic. I have no natural abilities. I am not speedy. I am just stupid. So I keep doing it. (And because my team for the 50 mile relay expects me to be able to run my leg of the race and not die of a heart attack.) They would like me to finish my 3 point something miles in a time less than one day. If not for them and their ridiculously high expectations (of me not dying) I would probably just settle for a nice two mile walk. Or bike ride. Down hill.
In a perfect world I would obtain a smokin' hot body just laying in bed watching tv all day. I think scientists should be working on making this dream a reality. And I should be eating while I lay there. But instead, I have to run & do sit ups and a bunch of other things that I don't feel like doing just to delay gravity from inevitably pulling my butt any closer to the floor. I am not reversing the signs of aging at this point, I'm just trying to keep up with the slow decay that's already happening. So I run.
The first mile is the worst. Then it doesn't get better. You just go numb. The worst part is trying to come up with something creative to think about while I'm out there. If I have a deep thought to mull over, the run goes much quicker. Or perhaps an MP3 player would be helpful. I don't have one though so I have to sing in my head. "Walkin' In the Sunshine" (Roger Miller) is a cheery running tune. But after 3 miles I'm usually sick of it. I need inspiration. If anyone has any inspiring thoughts feel free to share. I'm open for suggestions.