Monday, June 11, 2012

Partial Sci-Fi Movie Review

The other night I couldn't sleep so I turned on my favorite, the Sci Fi channel, to see what sort of cheesy movie laughs they could provide me with. Once again, they did not fail to amuse. I was immediately riveted by "Jersey Shore Shark Attack."

I'm not sure if it was meant to be a comedy spoof or a chiller. Pushing my "info" button to the Directv remote did not supply me with any clues. All it would tell me was "searching for description" which was not to be found.

Unfortunately, I tuned in about halfway through, but here is what I saw:  to sum it up neatly- confusion. The characters seemed to be largely based on MTV's Jersey Shore cast which were played by other people. There was a girl who looked like Snooki, one who seemed to be the J-Wow, and a Deena/or Sammi. There was also a guy named Vinny (how coincidental!), a Situation, and a Pauly D.

When I tuned in, they were just finding pieces of Vinny stuck in some rocks by the bank. Then somehow the Snooki girl fell in and landed about 30 yards from shore. (Cause THAT'S realistic right? I mean, every time I slip & fall in the water I always end up in the middle of the bay instead of within a reasonable distance of land-HA!) There she splashed and swam pitifully until the last minute, slipping and falling while the others tried to help her out of the water as the sharks were bearing down on her with uncommonly slow speed for an ocean predator. (The sharks may have been robots. I'm not sure if that was part of the movie or if they were just victims of a made-for-tv-movie budget.)

Once the guidos and guidettes were safely away from the water they decided it was their personal mission to blow up the sharks. So they tried to steal a boat but they ended up accidentally blowing it up when their bag of fireworks that they were planning to kill the sharks with, caught fire and exploded. They never even left the dock. The sharks were giggling maniacally as they cut to commercial. So was I. And while the commercial break was happening, I fell asleep and missed the rest of this wonderfully horrible movie.

The question still remains- was this supposed to be a serious movie or was it a comedy? I plan to watch the whole thing next time it's on and find out. If you've watched it, don't tell me, I like cheesy surprises.

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