Thursday, December 11, 2008

ProCare - Maybe I'll Live There

Monday I joined ProCare. After signing a few papers & giving them my money, they turned me loose to scamper about & explore where I wished. In wide eyed wonder I stepped out into the gym. A small indoor track surrounded dozens of treadmills, stairclimbers, elliptical machines, recumbant bikes, weight machines, and a free weight area. I stopped to stare. An old man walking around the track had to swerve around me. Lesson #1: Look both ways before crossing the track.
There was a group of women on the treadmills and some men on the ellipticals. They all looked official and seemed to know what they were doing. They ignored me. I kept walking. Behind the aerobic machines I found the weight machines. No one was around so I picked a simple looking machine to sit on. The Hip Adductor. This was vaguely familiar so I thought I'd try it out. Alas, my tries were in vain. A young woman in her mid 20's came around the corner & got on the Hip Abductor machine beside me. She looked safe so I asked her how this thing worked. She showed me. The machine worked beautifully & I moved on to the next, where I discovered that each machine has a picture on it of how to work it. Some made sense and others were more like ancient hieroglyphics. I also discovered that I could peek out of the corner of my eye into the mirrors & watch what the people behind me were doing. As soon as they'd leave, I'd run over & try out what I saw.
The Free Weight Area looked intriguing but was dotted with heavily muscled men.
As a general rule, I don't talk to men in the free weight area ever, ever, ever. They are there to make themselves beautiful and my approaching them for the simplest advice would most likely be taken out of context, thus hindering my nice sweaty lunch break.
So I waited until the coast was clear & went sneaking back into the Free Weights. It was a glorious concoction of poles and weights, dumb-bells, racks, and benches. A delight to revel in for sure. I reveled myself right over to the incline bench and helped myself to a few inclined situps. I felt like an intruder. I tried to hurry up before the Muscles all came back. It worked and I escaped unnoticed. I wished for Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak so I could keep on trying things out without people wondering what I was trying to do. I have to say it was a pretty good experience. So good that I went every day this week, sometimes twice a day. I'm officially addicted to it now and if they had food I'd live there. It's probably best that they don't.

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