Monday, February 21, 2011

How Jesus & Shanda Fixed My Email

Ok, so for the past few weeks, I have not been able to email ANYONE who has Atlantic Broadband. After much procrastination and feeble hopes that the problem would fix itself (it did not) I decided to get off my butt & call Century Link. Well, actually I thought I'd take the easy way out & email Century Link (a.k.a. Embarqmail.)

So upon much fussing and clicking I finally reached an individual via instant chat. This is what popped up on my screen:

"You are now chatting with Jesus."

Part of me wanted to giggle at the irony that Jesus would be accessible through live chat and also that he happened to work for Century Link. I began giggling like a school girl with a crush at the thought that I may actually be talking to Jesus- THE JESUS. (And don't burst my happy bubble by saying "Oh he probably pronounces it Hay-seus." I know that. And yet I prefer to reject that thought.)

How nice, I thought as the chat proceeded.

Apparently Jesus wondered why I had not typed anything yet so he took the initiative.

"Hi Kelly, this is Jesus. How may I help you?" (See?? No Mexican accent there.)

When that popped up on my screen I giggled some more. Part of me still fantasizing that I was actually talking to Jesus. The other part of me was trying to regain control of my fingers so I could type something back that actually made sense. And yet the war waged inside me - If I am anything but professional about this will my keyboard burst into flames? Is it ok if I ask him to grant me three wishes? Does he get sick of people bugging him to do things? Is it creepy if I ask him if he wants to hang out sometime? Apparently not or he wouldn't be working for Century Link in customer service/tech support. What I did manage to type was this:

"Hi Jesus, this is Kelly." (as if Jesus- both of them- didn't already know that.)

Immediately I thought Oh no, now Jesus thinks I'm a doofus. Quick type something smart!

So I began to ramble about my email problem.

Jesus was very patient. He always is. (more snickers to myself when that thought popped into my head.)

Jesus gave me the number to call for tech support. I thanked him. I actually got to type:

"Thank you Jesus"

It was one of those weird giddy moments for me. Like when Mike Wagner left me try on his Super Bowl ring. I felt like I should call someone and tell them. But instead I called the tech support number Jesus gave me.

I got Shanda.

Shanda was awesome.

She helped me reconfigure my outlook etc. etc. and called me back twice after I sent test emails to Gram (who I didn't get the chance to tell on the phone that I had just chatted with Jesus cause I knew Shanda was going to call back in just a minute or two.)

When it was all said & done, Ta-Dah! I can now email my friends once again! Thank you Jesus! And Thank You Shanda - you little computer genius you!

Then because I had to tell SOMEONE about Jesus, I typed this up.

And now you know about Jesus too.

So if anyone ever says "Did Kelly ever tell you about Jesus?" You can say "Yes she did. He works at Century Link."

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