1. I let the puppy up from the basement to socialize with me and play with his toys.
2. I put in an exercise DVD and workout while the puppy plays.
3. The puppy remembers that we have a cat.
4. The puppy barks at the cat.
5. I keep exercising.
6. The cat hisses at the puppy. I ignore both of them and keep on working out.
7. The puppy starts chasing the cat.
8. The cat runs into the living room and hides under the couch. This would be a spectacular hiding place if she'd shut up and quit growling and spitting while she's under there. (She's awful at hide & seek.)
9. I keep exercising.
10. The dog runs into the living room and barks at the couch, which has hissing sounds coming from underneath it.
11. The cat runs out of the room.
12. The puppy chases her.
13. Repeat steps 4-12 about six more times.
14. I finally get sick of hearing the hissing, growling and barking so I separate them. The puppy gets yelled at.
15. I go back to exercising.
16. The puppy is somewhere being quiet and this makes me and the cat happy.
17. The puppy runs into the room wagging his tail.
18. The puppy gives me a big fat kiss.
19. Aw, I think, that was nice. And then I smell it. Cat poop. He was eating cat poop and now he's licked me and my face smells like cat poop.
20. I scream and try not to barf as I run upstairs to scrub my face with bleach.
21. The puppy spends the rest of his evening playing outside.
22. The cat sits smugly at the top of the stairs. She has prevailed again.