I was at the Work Place on Wednesday, ho-humming my way through the morning when one of our patients got my attention.
"You know who you remind me of sometimes, when you're walking around? And don't take this the wrong way, 'cause it's sort of a compliment, but you sort of remind me of Captain Jack Sparrow."
I paused to reflect on that. Capt. Jack? Really? Hmmm, I guess that IS sort of a compliment. It could also mean that I'm wearing way too much eyeliner. I tried for a brief second to imagine what I must look like when I walk to the average bystander. Do I really have such an exaggerated swagger?
Then I recalled something the same person told me a month or so ago. He said I could be one of the Wiggles. I don't have any small children (or large children for that matter, just a really fat, bossy peach colored cat) so I have never watched the Wiggles. It made me want to run home and You Tube it and see what results would pop up. He went on to mention that I was rather theatrical. I never thought of myself that way. In a last ditch effort to salvage my self esteem I filed the comment about being one of the Wiggles away under "Things People Say Under Duress." Perhaps he was in such pain from the physical therapy that I was inflicting upon him that he was hallucinating these comparisons.
The very same day as the Captain Jack comment, another fellow came in. He was an older gentleman I hadn't met before, but I was pretty sure we were gonna get along. Who can't like a guy who wears a sweatshirt that says "Geezerjock"? As I was working with him, he looked up at me & said "You know who you look like?"
Golly Nell, not this again. I was hoping he wasn't going to start naming the TeleTubbies or the cast of Blues Clues.
"Sandra Bullock. You know, the one that was in the movie about the FBI agent that gets in the beauty contest?"
Oh thank heavens, something I can deal with. Thank you, thank you, thank you....
"Yeah", he goes on, "I like Sandra Bullock, she's sexy and funny, you know, not beautiful..."
Not beautiful? Drat. But sexy & funny is ok I guess, so I'm gonna just take this at face value & not delve too deep. My boss from the Former Work Place used to say I looked like Sandra too so maybe I do. I see people that remind me of celebrities too. One guy who comes in to the office is Robert Plant incarnate (Robert from the 70's that is.) Another guy looks just like Santa Clause. So much so that the week of Christmas I started asking him what his favorite snacks were and reminded him that I was definitely on the Nice List. And there is a lady who comes in that reminds me of Ol Golly's mom in the book "Harriet the Spy." I could definitely live with looking like Sandra.
This perked me up until lunch time, when I had time to recall these comments and put them all together. I can only imagine the picture this must paint for those who never met me. Sandra Bullock's face, and Jack Sparrow's body language with choreography by the Wiggles. What a bizzare scene to behold. How did I manage to elude Hollywood for so long? Or the mental institution for that matter. And society is letting me walk around like that? No wonder crazy people in Walmart find me so approachable. They think I'm one of them. Maybe I am since I actually don't mind.
Maybe this is why my husband hardly ever takes me out to dinner. If he ever does, you'll recognize us right away. Just look for the girl who reminds you of Sandra Bullock holding the hand of the guy who looks like Dale Jr.