Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Stupid Cell Phones

Even though this is going to tick off 99% of the world's population, I'm throwing this out there anyhow. Afterall, no one is reading this blog anyways. If they did I would see a comment now and then. So here goes and let the chips fall where they may.
You cell phone people are driving me crazy. Yes. You heard me. You're rude and I'm sick of it. Everywhere I go people are yakking away on their little plastic phones. LOUDLY too. What is it that would make someone want a cell phone to begin with? I'm curious.
When I confront someone about their cell phone (yes, I'm brash enough to do that) they give me the excuse "Well, I like to have it with me for emergencies."
When was the last time you were standing in line at the store & heard this phone conversation behind you:
"Hello? Oh my word!! Are you Ok?!! You're WHERE?!! Pinned underneath the burning wreckage of your car????!!! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!!!"
Another example:
Those are just two of many examples of what could be classified as an emergency.
Here is what we usually hear:
"Yeah, the judge said he had to pay $500.00/month in child support. You know the bastard will never pay a cent."
"Totally. Yeah. Uh-huh...... I got the red one too....... Do you think red makes me look fat?.......Thanks............ Yeah, I got the strapless kind. Ha ha....... He wishes..."

Seriously folks, when was the last time you used your cell phone for an emergency? A REAL emergency? I classify an emergency of a matter of Life, Death, or Perishable Goods. Perhaps my family has set the bar so high that I no longer think of anything as an emergency.

"What? My sister dated a 40 something man with a trach, traveled around America with a car full of illegal Mexicans & then decided to settle down & date a midget? My dad's been deployed to Iraq? My dad's been blown up? My mom's got breast cancer?"

You see where I'm going with this. So don't give me your stupid excuse about needing cell phones for emergencies. I've not needed one for any of the above emergencies and somehow managed to live to tell the story.
Why does America feel the need to be available to everyone day and night? What is wrong with you people? Don't you want to be left alone? Maybe if they were related to my family, they'd feel different.
When I leave the house I don't want bothered. If the car breaks down, I'll start walking. No wonder everyone is so obese. When their car breaks down they just sit comfortably & call a tow truck instead of walking to the nearest house & borrowing a phone.
When I leave the house I give the cat strict orders: "If anyone calls & leaves a message, erase it for me before I get home."
A few years ago my dad threatened to give me his old cell phone. I told him if he did I'd throw it in the Raystown Lake. So there.
In summary I'd just like to reiterate that I think people are idiots. If everyone would just think for themselves instead of relying on dialing their network of other idiots, we might be a little further ahead than we are now. It's a good thing I'm not president. But I digress.


Anonymous said...

Please like me. I do not have a cell phone. I walked or hitched a ride to call my granddaughter on her work land line phone to resuce me when I totalled my car. When I got lost in the Imler/Weyandt area, I met two folks who told me where to go (in a nice way of course). Do these two instances qualify for emergencies??? Also, why must we remember FIVE phone numbers for a family of five when we previously could just call ONE landline number? Who needs a cell phone? Particulary irritating, when you are riding with a cell phone addict and your destination is only ten minutes away, but with all the ridiculous calls on the cell, it takes over one hour to reach your destination. Down with cell phones!! Now I know you like me!

Jimmy said...

I especially don't like people that talk while they're driving. Especially if they are talking to me. I feel like telling them, "You know, you really should be paying attention to what you're doing." Especially when you can hear them mumble stuff like, "Oops, I just missed my exit." Usually at that point I just hang up.

M Zaib said...
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